


Great Expectations

by froochies (darling_dontworry)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Art, Coming of Age, Gen, M/M, Memories, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darling_dontworry/pseuds/froochies
Summary: There were few things in life that Asahi had ever been totally sure about. As a middle schooler, he’d had no idea that his high school days would be filled with volleyball, big obstacles, and even bigger joys, some of which he’d take with him for the rest of his life. Following high school, he had thought he’d stay in Miyagi and get some random job, but somehow, that turned into something else too. He happened to apply to a small college in Tokyo that had accepted him as a student, so he moved to the city that spring, no idea of what he would want to study and hopeful to discover something new about himself. It was exciting, he thought, something that would challenge him to become the person he was always meant to be.Now, in his third year of University, Asahi is totally and completely sure: he has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing with his life. And guess who shows up to help?
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31
Collections: HQ Mini Bang





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Big shoutout to [Noël](https://yoriiarts.carrd.co/#) for partnering with me as the artist for this story, and a huge thank you to [Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/octocelot/pseuds/wasabi) for beta-ing :)

There were few things in life that Asahi had ever been totally sure about. As a middle schooler, he’d had no idea that his high school days would be filled with volleyball, big obstacles, and even bigger joys, some of which he’d take with him for the rest of his life. Following high school, he had thought he’d stay in Miyagi and get some random job, but somehow, that turned into something else too. He happened to apply to a small college in Tokyo that had accepted him as a student, so he moved to the city that spring, no idea of what he would want to study and hopeful to discover something new about himself. It was exciting, he thought, something that would challenge him to become the person he was always meant to be. 

Now, in his third year of University, Asahi is totally and completely sure: he has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing with his life. 

The realization comes a few weeks before the start of the new semester. Though he’d registered as a history major the previous year and started the appropriate coursework, the classes that he should be registering for now don’t seem to interest him at all. 

“Okay, well maybe you should take something that’s outside of the history department,” Sugawara tells Asahi as they sit together at their kitchen table staring at Asahi’s overheated laptop. Sugawara was the one familiar thing Asahi was thankfully able to take with him to Tokyo, as he’d been accepted to University in the city as well. They’d just spent the last half hour registering for their required courses. Suga knew he wanted to get his degree in teaching, so he’d already signed up for the next education courses for that year. But Asahi was having a bit more trouble figuring out his last class. 

“Is there something random you’re interested in?” Sugawara continues. “You can just try it out and see how it goes the first few days of class. If you don’t like it, just swap it out for another class.” 

“Maybe,” Asahi says, looking back at the course catalog in his hands. “Let me see?” 

Sugawara hands him the thick booklet, allowing Asahi to set it flat on the table and peruse the pages. 

“Ooh, what about _that_?” Sugawara says, putting a finger on a listing that says “Introduction to Creative Non-Fiction: The Art of Telling Real Stories.” Asahi reads the course description, which says the focus of the class is to learn the craft of writing literary nonfiction about real events or entities, including autobiographical writing “if you wish.” 

“I don’t know, Suga,” Asahi says, raising his hand to the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

“What do you mean? This seems to be right up your alley. Aren’t you all about visualizing the future and being all sentimental and stuff?”

“You are hilarious.” 

“You know what I mean! Maybe this will help you figure out what you want to do.” 

That’s a good point. With a little more convincing on Sugawara’s part, Asahi eventually registers for the class and they spend the rest of the evening catching up on new episodes of Terrace House. Sugawara eventually retires to his room to talk with Daichi on the phone, leaving Asahi to wonder what exactly the new semester will bring.

Though he’d been assured by Sugawara that he had plenty of time to figure things out, the next few weeks have Asahi spinning in a state of combined panic and frustration. This all leads up to a bad start on the first day of classes. He doesn’t get as much sleep as he’d have wanted, he didn’t plan ahead for his afternoon bento, and he had to skip out on coffee. All of it makes him a little flustered and slightly late as he reaches the modest, red-brick humanities building where the non-fiction course is supposed to meet. 

Asahi pushes open the double doors open, fleetingly remembers the correct number of the classroom, and shuffles down the hall to a door with the number “M5A” on it. There’s a muted voice warbling through the door meaning that class has officially started, but Asahi reaches for the doorknob with a slightly trembling hand.

The voice that he’d heard through the door is converted to HD surround sound as he enters the back of the tiny classroom, but it ceases talking immediately as the click of the door shuts behind him with a loud click. 

“Intro to Nonfiction Writing?” asks an older man standing at the podium at the front of the class. There are no more than twenty seats, and Asahi notices that they aren’t even all filled while some of the occupants turn fully in their seats to stare at the latecomer. 

A situation like this may have sent Asahi into a tailspin of negativity just a few years ago. He hates to be late, hates that he’s making an impression like this, but he takes a breath to calm himself before nodding determinedly at the man who he assumes is the professor and takes the nearest open seat in the second to last row of the room. 

“As I was saying,” the professor continues, “this course will give you a general feel for literary non-fiction writing, whether you write about your own life or another subject that interests you.” He reaches underneath the podium to take out a stack of papers and walks around the podium to hand the stack to the front row. “We’ll be reading American nonfiction by Jon Krakaur and Joan Didion as examples, and of course you’ll be writing your own work as well.” 

Asahi hadn’t heard those names before. Sugawara had said that the class may be an interesting way to do some self reflection, but Asahi hadn’t thought there’d be actual studying involved. _Still,_ Asahi thinks to himself, _might be a good change of pace._ He tunes into the professor, as he walks back up to the podium. 

“You’ll find the due dates for assignment in the syllabus I’ve just handed out. Please note that I’m also asking that students write a ‘details’ journal to help facilitate your personal writing practice.” The professor grips the edge of the podium as he stares at each of his students’ faces in turn, which intimidates Asahi more than it should. 

“Every other day or so, I want you to write down one sentence or detail that stood out to you from your day. This is an ongoing assignment, and there must be at least 30 entries by the end of the semester. I encourage you not to leave the assignment for the end of the semester,” the professor adds wryly, pulling a few laughs from some students sitting behind Asahi. 

Asahi takes the syllabus that appears in front of him and passes it behind him. Flipping through, he notes the word “autobiographical” several times, including the instructions for the final: “The final paper will be a short non-fiction work of between 1500-2000 words. The subject must be autobiographical or have some basis in a real-world occurrence or subject.”

Before Asahi can think of things he’d even want to write about, a finger taps his shoulder lightly. He turns to the person sitting behind him, wondering if they ran out of papers, but quickly realizes that this probably isn’t the case at all because the person who is sitting behind him looks strangely like someone he knows. 

“Nishi...noya?” Asahi whispers, looking straight into familiar golden eyes.

“What’s up?” Noya says. He smiles broadly, and Asahi has a feeling that this year will definitely not go the way he planned. 

*

Asahi: SUGA

Asahi: THe crziest thing just happend

Sugawara: Must have been pretty crazy your spelling is way off

Asahi: NOYA

Asahi: Nishinoya is in my nonfiction class

Sugawara: :o

Sugawara: Wait waaaat

Asahi: right? 

Sugawara: Oh 

Sugawara: Wait

Sugawara: I think Daichi mentioned that Noya was moving to the city. But he didn’t mention anything about college or what he’d be doing

Asahi: ???? 

Asahi: And that wasn’t worth mentioning??? 

Sugawara: Sorry I totally forgot about it

Asahi: Its fine

Asahi: I’m just surprised

Asahi: We made plans to get dinner later. Do you want to come? 

Sugawara: Aw I would totally join but I have a class tonight

Sugawara: Have fun! 

Sugawara: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! 

Sugawara: Oh wait how did nonfiction go? What do you think? 

Asahi: Uh 

Asahi: First of all, you’re weird 

Asahi: Second, I’m still not sure about the class. I may try to look at another one

Sugawara: But what about Noya? 

Asahi: It’s not like we won’t see each other if we’re not in the same class. 

Asahi: I have his number. 

Sugawara: Yes you dooo 

Asahi: ? 

Sugarawa: Eh whatever, just go get dinner. 

Sugawara: Maybe have a drink. It’ll clear your head. Help you make good decisions. 

Asahi: -_-

Sugawara: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

*

By the time Asahi gets on the train to meet Nishinoya for dinner, his nerves are on end. He hadn’t really seen or talked to Nishinoya since he graduated from Karasuno. That day had been surreal. Sitting in the gymnasium with the rest of his class, hearing the principal’s words about moving forward to a bright future. It would have felt like any other assembly, except for the paper scroll that he was handed by the end of everything and the wave of goodbyes he received from classmates. Girls he’d noticed from the corner of his eye giggled before shaking his hand in farewell, guys he’d barely spoken to high-fived him and said to text them before he moved. But most memorable was the fact that the whole volleyball team had shown up to greet the third years goodbye. 

Nishinoya had been unusually quiet during that exchange of words between the team, the last moment they’d all have together for the foreseeable future. When hugs were being exchanged between each one of them, Nishinoya had stared at Asahi with this hard, blazing look that he’d recognized from the time that they had a screaming match in the hallways of the school. The result before had been a broken vase, but this time, Nishinoya took a deep breath and hugged Asahi tightly for what seemed like forever.

The memory makes Asahi burn red in the face as he finds the restaurant they agreed on and waits on the sidewalk in front, peering beyond some passerby and hoping to see Nishinoya’s silhouette. He would never admit it, but he thought about that hug randomly a few times over the past few years and wondered what Nishinoya had been up to. They hadn’t kept in contact very much, only occasionally seeing each other when Asahi went home. 

“Asahi-san!”

Asahi turns around to see Nishinoya waving at him as he approaches, cheeks a little red from the crisp spring evening. He hadn’t gotten a good look at Nishinoya during classes, but Asahi thought he looked almost the same as when they last saw each other in Miyagi. His build may have been a bit more muscular, that signature blonde bit in his hair has since grown out and he hasn’t re-dyed it, but he’s still the same Noya that Asahi remembers. Nishinoya’s hair also isn’t spiked up like it was this morning – he must have taken a shower after getting out of his evening practice – but it looks a little longer than it was in the past. 

“I’m starving. You ready to eat?” Nishinoya says, looking the restaurant up and down with a broad smile. 

Asahi nods and they walk through the doors and ask for a table for two. They’re able to make a bit of small talk while they decide what to eat, but after they place their order, there’s a lull. Asahi coughs and takes a sip of water, and Nishinoya stares at a spot past him on the wall. 

This is what Asahi was afraid of. Without Sugawara as a buffer, the conversation would be stale. Asahi had admittedly never been alone with Nishinoya before, so being together now after all this time is weird. But he takes a breath and tries to start up a conversation. 

“So… what’s new?” Asahi says lamely. 

Nishinoya smiles lightly and his eyes dart Asahi’s, who feels like he sees a spark of playfulness in them. 

“Well, I just moved here,” Nishinoya says as if listing off a grocery list. “And now I’m in college. And I just happen to be in a class with one of the coolest people I know. Who happens to be one of the only people I know in this city.” 

Asahi feels his cheeks burn at this, but he latches onto something that Noya just said. 

“Wait, so you remembered that I live here? Did you have any idea we were going to the same college?” 

“Not a clue. I just remembered you moved to Tokyo, but I didn’t even remember the last time that I saw you.” Nishinoya runs his fingers through his hair and looks to the side for a second. “It seemed weird to contact you out of the blue.”

Asahi realizes the Nishinoya looks a little flushed and... embarrassed? He tilts his head to the side, a bit confused. “You thought it was weird?” 

“Hey, I get weirded out sometimes,” Nishinoya says, looking back at him with a chuckle. Asahi finds himself smiling back. 

“I get it. Sorry.”

“No! It’s not –” 

“If I had known, I would have reached out. I do have stuff going on, but we wouldn’t have let you move here all by yourself. Me and Suga would have been there for you.” 

“I know you would have. I just got in my head a little.” 

They’re silent again for a little bit. Asahi wonders how he’d gone all these years without realizing that Nishinoya probably gets self-conscious about things too. Nishinoya props his head up on the table, resting his chin on a closed fist, conversation gone dry again. This makes Asahi think about what Suga said earlier. 

“Do you want a beer?” Asahi says. 

Nishinoya’s eyes flick towards him again and he doles out another grin. 

“God, yes.” 

*

After two rounds of beer and one round of hot sake, Asahi is seeing everything in a rose-tinted haze. _Why_ they had decided to drink a little more on a weekday is beyond his knowledge now, but everything is extremely slow and nice and _fuzzy,_ the round edge of his gyudon bowl feels smooth under his hands and the glowing paper lanterns are buzzing pleasantly above his head. Asahi has always been far from a lightweight because of his size, but there is something about these Sapporos that are causing him to fly a bit higher than usual. And then there’s Nishinoya, who seems to be a bit more wild-eyed and rowdy than usual, but in a lazy way too, like a pirate in a tavern. 

“So I said, ‘Fine, let’s do this,’ and the rest is history,” Nishinoya slurs loudly, looking at Asahi with a “told-ya-so” kind of face. 

“What?” Asahi says. 

“The volleyball deal! With the school! I’ve only been going on about it for fifteen minutes.” 

Oh. Asahi had kind of heard him rambling about how the college had recruited him after hearing about the neighborhood association games he played in. It was unconventional in every aspect, Asahi thinks in the clearer part of his mind, but in the less-than-clear part, he’s thinking about how Nishinoya is just _so good_ at volleyball and _of course_ he was recruited that way how else would he be? But also, why was he chosen so late? 

“You were always so good at it. They should have recruited you during your senior year,” Asahi says truthfully. 

“What? I’m not even talking about –” 

“Nooo, Nishinoya,” Asahi shoots back. “I’m talking about _volleyball,_ you were always so good, and I _got to be on your team_ , how awesome is that?” 

Nishinoya grins at this. “It was totally awesome! You are just as good!” 

“Not anymore,” Asahi says. He feels himself shaking his head way too fast, but he can’t bring himself to go any slower. “I haven’t played in ages, and I don’t have time to anyhow, I’m too focused on the fact that I’m stuck in this stupid major.” 

“Whaddya mean?” 

“History! Why did I even decide to concentrate on it? I don’t want to be a professor or a researcher. Now I’m just stuck on what to do with the rest of my life!” Asahi takes another sip of his beer, wanting to stop talking but finding that his body will not allow it. “I just! I wish I knew what I wanted. I didn’t even think college was in my future and suddenly I’m here and now I have to decide something that I never even thought about before and –” 

“OH MY GOD.” 

“What?!” 

“I have THE best idea.” Nishinoya stands up, the soft light reflecting the wild gleam in his eyes and he puts both hands on the sticky table and looms over Asahi, reminding him of the sheer nerve and steel stored in that tiny body of his. “I am going to help you.” 

Asahi feels his cheeks heat up even more at Nishionya’s proximity, and belatedly registers his words. “You’re gonna help me… figure my life out?” he breathes. 

Nishinoya nods and stands up tall, hands on his hips like Superman himself and a cheeky grin splashed on his face. Asahi feels a familiar sense of foreboding at the gesture. He takes a big breath, the smell of beer and meat and cold spring air invading his senses, and he holds it, wondering how exactly Nishinoya is going to help him with his problems this time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features some groovy art by [Noël](https://yoriiarts.carrd.co/#)!

Asahi wakes up the next day to bright sunlight streaming through the curtains he hadn’t remembered to close the previous evening. Eyes stubbornly glued shut with sleep, he groans and reminds himself that the current ache in the back of his head is why he usually didn’t have more than one drink when he went out to dinner with friends. 

Asahi yawns and stretches, mildly aware that he’s only wearing boxers and that his coverlet is missing (it probably dropped to the floor in the middle of the night). His mind wanders to his conversation with Nishinoya last night. He hadn’t been _that_ drunk, but tipsy enough to accept Nishinoya’s proposal to help him figure out the stuff with his major. He shakes his head now, silently berating himself for agreeing so easily. The idea of spending more time with Nishinoya had been – _is_ – appealing, but dragging his former classmate into something that had a big impact on his future wasn’t something Asahi had intended. And though he is sure that Nishinoya has nothing but good intentions, Asahi isn’t so sure he should bother him with such a problem after he’s just moved to a completely new city. 

He’s about to text Nishinoya to see how much he remembered about his promise, when he hears a burst of laughter outside his bedroom door. It’s definitely Sugawara, who likes to wake up early, but there’s another, familiar laugh drifting through the door. 

Tentatively, Asahi pulls on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt and opens the door, only to find Nishinoya and Sugawara chatting over two fresh cups of black coffee at the table in their kitchen. 

“Sleep well, roomie?” Sugawara says in a would-be casual voice. He folds his hands under his chin, and Asahi ignores the smug smile on his face. The mole under Sugawara’s eye is practically sparkling with amusement as he continues, “You know, you gotta let me know when to expect guests.” 

“I – What?” 

“Well, when I woke up this morning, I found Noya-san on the couch.” 

Asahi is awake enough not to let his mouth drop open in shock. He had assumed that he invited Nishinoya over for breakfast without realizing, but obviously not. Asahi looks over at Nishinoya, who is grinning like this is the best thing he’s heard all day. 

“You don’t remember?” Nishinoya laughs. “You gave me your covers because you said you felt hot and told me to go on the couch.” 

Asahi racks his brain for a minute, finally recalling the image of Nishinoya pushing him into the room. He also does remember feeling really _hot,_ tipsy and hurriedly shucking his own button-down, slacks, and… 

“Remember now?” Nishinoya says. Asahi feels himself flush at the memory, causing Nishinoya to bark out a laugh. “Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything.” 

“Tsk, I am more concerned that you didn’t,” Sugawara winks. “I guess my advice to have a drink was heeded.” He picks up his coffee cup and slurps from it loudly, clearly holding back a chuckle as evidenced by his shaking shoulders.

“Suga-senpai, that was your idea?” Noya says, turning to him with an incredulous expression. Asahi thinks Sugawara looks much more proud than he should. 

“Wow, you are both so chipper this morning,” he cuts in, walking around them to reach into one of the cabinets and grab himself a mug. 

“Well, I did have a pretty good night’s rest,” Sugawara says. 

“And I am pretty resistant to alcohol, despite my size,” Nishinoya adds proudly. 

Asahi snorts. “I don’t know about that. We were pretty loud at the restaurant.” 

“Rude! And here I was going on to Suga about my plans to help you out.” 

The poured coffee smells sweet in Asahi’s nose as he takes a deep breath and curses Nishinoya’s surprisingly good memory of last night. He turns to stand at the table across from Nishinoya, the ceramic mug hot in his hands. 

“Nishinoya,” Asahi says. “I know what I said last night, but I was thinking… it shouldn’t be something you have to concern yourself with. You just moved here, and I’d feel bad if –” 

“No, no, Asahi-san.” Nishinoya waves his hands in the air in a gesture of adamant refusal. “Don’t worry about me, I want to help, and, anyways, it will be a good way to get to know the city!”

“What do you mean?” Asahi says, dropping down into the empty seat next to Sugawara. 

“Well, it’s kind of like how you wanted to try something new with the nonfiction class? I’m thinking we’ll do some activities outside of school and see what you really like!” Nishinoya says. “Maybe baking class or something like that, then do some sightseeing as well? Get a tour of the Tokyo Metropolitan Building, then Tokyo Tower –”

“What about the Skytree?” Sugawara says. Asahi thinks about aiming a kick at his roommate under the table, but thinks better of it. He knows there is no stopping this now, especially with Sugawara encouraging the raging force that is Nishinoya. Asahi has to admit that the idea of spending more time with Nishinoya isn’t a horrible one, but getting dragged across Tokyo with Mr. Rolling Thunder also sounds kind of unproductive. 

“Ah, well anyways, that’s just the preliminary plan. We can talk about it more, but I’ve gotta go. I have class this afternoon and I should probably have a shower,” Nishinoya says, addressing Asahi and pulling him from his reverie. “Thanks again for dinner last night.” 

“Oh, okay,” Asahi says, taking one last gulp of coffee. “You know how to get home from here?” 

Nishinoya shrugs. “I’ll figure it out right? I’ve got my phone and this country boy has gotta get used to taking trains everywhere.” 

“Well if you need something, text me.” 

“Thanks.” Nishinoya grins and claps Sugawara on the back. “Thanks for the coffee and the company!” 

“Of course. You’re always welcome here, Noya-san.” Sugawara gets up quickly and grabs the empty mugs on the table. “Asahi, can you walk Nishinoya out? I wanna clean up and then I gotta do some work.” 

“Sure,” Asahi says. He stands up as Nishinoya grabs for his keys and wallet, then slips his feet into some trainers by the door and leads a jauntily whistling Nishinoya through their apartment complex. It’s a bright day, Nishinoya’s little melody accompanied by the tittering of birds in the nearby trees. When they reach the gate, Asahi opens it to let Nishinoya out, but instead of exiting the complex, he turns to look at Asahi directly in the eyes. 

“Asahi-san,” Nishinoya says. “You know, we don’t have to do all that stuff. If you don’t want to.” 

Asahi stares down at Nishinoya’s eyes, notes the defiant way his chin is tilted up, and finds himself a bit shocked at the idea of Nishinoya letting him off the hook like this. He has the fleeting memory of a broom snapping under his foot, angry hands grabbing at his collar in a dark volleyball closet. He sighs, and chooses his next words carefully. 

“Ah,” Asahi says. “Sorry, Nishinoya. I am really transparent, aren’t I?” 

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” Nishinoya’s mouth quirks up in a little smile at Asahi’s admittance. “You’d think that being a big college student and all would give me insight on when not to butt into other people’s business, but it really hasn’t.” 

Asahi doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods as Nishinoya turns on the spot and exits the gate. 

“We’ll have a hell of a first entry for our nonfiction journal though, right?” Nishinoya says wryly, turning to Asahi as the gate closes behind him. This makes Asahi laugh, and he notices the shrug of Nishinoya’s small shoulders as he laughs with him. The button-up in which he slept last night is slightly wrinkled, Asahi notices, and he smiles when Nishinoya gives him another wave of farewell with both hands. Another memory flashes through Asahi’s mind, this time of Nishinoya in his black high school uniform, a joyful smile on his lips, waving his friends down near Sakanoshita shop or on their high school campus. He can’t believe how much time has passed between then and now. 

“Noya, wait,” he says, pulling at Nishinoya’s sleeve through the gate to stop him. Nishinoya drops his hands and tilts his head to the side, waiting as Asahi takes a big breath. “I guess... it wouldn’t hurt to try your way. Right?” 

Comprehension darts onto Nishinoya’s face for a second, and if Asahi thought the day had been bright before, it is absolutely nothing compared to Nishinoya’s smile at that moment. 

*

Over the next few days, Nishinoya goes back and forth with Asahi about the location for their first outing, but he eventually settles on visiting the Tokyo Sea Life Park. If Asahi had a choice, he’d probably never go into marine biology or science in general, so he’s not sure what Nishinoya expects from a visit there. However, he had promised himself and Nishinoya that he’d be open to the possibilities, so he agrees to a day at the aquarium and makes plans to meet up with Nishinoya at the train station near school that weekend. 

It’s another sunny day when Asahi finds Nishinoya waiting at the station for him, decked out in a large white t-shirt, dark skinny jeans, and some bright orange sneakers. Asahi remembers the t-shirts that Nishinoya used to wear, the ones that said “One-Man Army" or "Three-Point Headstand” and the white t-shirt suddenly seems a lot more mature, despite Nishinoya’s current excitable state that has everything to do with going to the aquarium. Asahi does have to admit that he feels extra fond of Nishinoya as he seems unable to stop talking about the park from the moment they greet each other. 

“They’ve even got tropical penguins!” Nishinoya says when they get on the train. They take a seat on the side, a pleasant voice in the loudspeaker telling them the name of the next stop. “You know, the ones that live on the beach or something.” 

“Is there such a thing?” Asahi says, genuinely surprised. 

“That’s what I heard. But anyways, we’re not focused on me today.” Nishinoya shakes his head, as if to wake himself up. “We’re here to focus on you! We gotta make sure we’re talking to employees there, getting some info about how they got to be like… caretakers and stuff.” 

Asahi feels his head tilt in a sigh as the train starts to move. He isn’t sure how to explain that he is pretty sure he wouldn’t want a career in science. Nishinoya continues muttering to himself with who else they could interrogate about their jobs. 

“Of course, we’ll want to talk to a scientist or a researcher,” Nishinoya adds, a little louder so Asahi can hear him. “I wonder if there will be any presentations. And maybe a manager, like maybe they know stuff about marketing and public relations? What do you think, Asahi-san?” 

“Ah,” Asahi says, glad for the opening. “Nishinoya, really we don’t have to do interviews or anything. Can we just, I don’t know, enjoy the day?” 

“Enjoy the day?” 

“Yeah, and if I see something interesting or find someone I want to talk to more, I promise I will. Or, I’ll let you help me research how to do that career later on.” 

Nishinoya narrows his eyes. This makes Asahi gulp. 

“You’re not just chickening out?” Nishinoya says. 

“No.” 

“You promise?”

“Promise.” 

“Fine. I’ll try to forget about it, then.” 

“And?”

“And what?” 

“And you won’t question people about their careers.” 

Nishinoya crosses his arms. Asahi laughs at the childishness of the gesture, realizing that asking Nishinoya not to talk to people is akin to a death sentence, though he mutters in agreement, “And I won’t question people.” 

“Thank you.” 

Asahi runs a hand through his hair and feels a smile creep onto his face, even as Nishinoya punches him in the arm with a chuckle of disbelief. They don’t talk any more for the rest of the trip. 

When the train gets to their stop, Nishinoya bounces up from his seat and pulls Asahi off the train, grip firm around Asahi’s wrist. 

“This feels amazing!” Nishinoya laughs as they step out onto the platform, staring out at the ocean. It really is a perfect day, Asahi thinks. The sun is high in a cloudless sky, and the air seems to shine as salty ocean spray fills the air with each breaking wave on the breakwater. Asahi hadn’t ever visited the Tokyo Sea Life Park before, but he feels giddy looking at the familiar glass-panelled dome as they approach it now. 

“It’s just like I imagined. Remember those old commercials?” Asahi says to Nishinoya. He starts to chant, “ _Whether turtles or marlin or penguin or shark, swim yourself down to Tokyo Sea Life Park!_ ”

Nishinoya snorts at this. “What is that? I don’t remember that at all. Then again, I didn’t watch much TV as a kid.” 

“Ah, maybe that’s it. This is so nostalgic though, and I haven’t even been here before.” 

“Okay, old man,” Nishinoya says with a smirk. “Maybe we’ll find something in there that will make you feel young again.” 

As they enter the glass dome, purchase tickets, and grab maps, Nishinoya seems to find something that fits the bill. He hides the map from Asahi, and, grinning wickedly, freely takes Asahi’s hand in his (Asahi feels his face burn at this) to lead him past a few large tanks with fish and towards a room with what looks like a big, above-ground pool in the middle. 

It’s a fish tank. _A touch tank_ , Asahi realizes belatedly, watching as adults and children alike gather around the large, undulating pool of dark blue water, sleeves rolled up to their elbows and arms stuck underneath the rippling surface. At the sound of a splash at the pool’s edge, Asahi sees _something_ grey and slimy emerge briefly from the water at the lip of the tank, only to dip back down instantly. 

“Noya,” Asahi starts, feeling an insistent tug on his sleeve. “What exactly is in there?”

“Stingrays!” Nishinoya bounces on the balls of his feet, then tugs them to the edge of the tank. “Let’s touch ‘em!” 

“Wait, wait, don’t they sting?” 

“No, look at the sign.” 

Asahi barely glances for the informational board where it says to wash your hands before and after playing in the touch tank, to only touch with two fingers, and that the rays have their stingers removed before being put into the touch tank. To be honest, the stinger doesn’t concern Asahi as much as the mere idea of sticking his hands into a tank full of water with _living things_ in it. 

“Come on!” 

Asahi feels himself tugged again towards the water’s edge, noting the rays swimming around in the clear glass of the tank. They’re… pretty, Asahi has to admit. Graceful. Their bodies roll in a gentle waving motion in the water, propelling them in circles around the deep blue tank. Long tails flick behind them side-to-side, keeping their bodies balanced and moving along. With a start, Asahi watches as one big ray lays itself flat against the glass of the tank, revealing a white, unmarked belly and a big gaping mouth. This makes Nishinoya laugh. 

“Isn’t it cool? Look, I think it’s trying to ask for pets.” 

Asahi attempts to ignore Nishinoya’s annoyingly endearing use of the word “pets” as a noun and focuses instead on the ray. Indeed, it did look like it wanted to be touched as it shimmied up the glass so that its great head stuck out of the water, slick with salt water and possibly some sort of mucus. Asahi feels himself relax a little at the idea. It’s… just like a cat. A big, slimy, floppy cat. 

Nishinoya releases Asahi’s hand and reaches his own towards the tank, laying it easily on the squirming stingray. The creature struggles to stay in the same spot under Nishinoya’s touch, flailing and eventually falling back down into the depths of the tank. As it swims off to another pod of people, Nishinoya laughs again and shakes his hand off. 

“It’s cold,” he says, glancing at Asahi quickly before turning his attention back to the tank. “Oh! Here comes another. Come here –” 

Asahi feels Nishinoya’s wet hand on his wrist before he is wrenched right up to the tank with surprising force. He can smell the tang of the sea water as Nishinoya shoves the sleeve of his windbreaker up to his elbow. 

“Noya, wait, wait – ”

“It’s okay, it feels really cool! This one’s coming up again.” 

It’s the big one again, making its rounds. Asahi isn’t sure how he knows, but it moves the same way, twitching up the glass so that its fin emerges from the water’s surface for a second. 

“Ah, I don’t know, what if –” 

Before Asahi can say more, Noya moves his hand abruptly, grazing it against the ray. It’s somehow everything Asahi thought and not at all – slick and slimy but also firm and muscular. Asahi jerks his hand back with a yelp. There’s another splash as the ray’s fin disappears and Nishinoya stares at him incredulously, his mouth twisting into a huge smile. 

“Oh my god,” Nishinoya says, doubling over with contained laughter. “Asahi. You’re so cute, oh my god, wait a second, have you ever touched a stingray before?” 

Asahi would probably be more mad if they weren’t in public and if he actually got hurt. But his hand is pretty much dry save for the sliver of wet that stings his hand cold and he finds himself fixated on Nishinoya’s use of the word “cute” in reference to him. 

“No!” Asahi still can’t help sounding a bit indignant. “Have you?” 

“No, of course not! You’re so predictable, though.”

Asahi finds himself grumbling a bit, and Nishinoya nudges him with an elbow. “You gotta admit though, Asahi-san, they’re pretty cool. Super big and powerful.” Asahi looks over at his friend as he spreads his arms wide, then tilts his head to the side in contemplation. “Hmm, but they also seem kind? Weird, actually, they’re kind of like you.” 

Asahi feels his cheeks redden at this. “Me?  
“Yeah! Big, powerful, but kind and soothing.” 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

“It’s just what I think.” Nishinoya shrugs as if he hadn’t turned Asahi into a red, blubbering mess. “Now let’s do another one!” 

“Uh.” 

“You don’t have to. I just want to do a few more since we’re here.” 

Nishinoya has the gall to look a bit disappointed, and Asahi sighs. “No, it’s fine. I’ll try too.” 

“Heck yeah!” 

They spend a good forty-five minutes at the tank, and though Asahi is afraid to stick his hand all the way in and he feels the knuckles on his fingers swell with cold salt water uncomfortably, he does pet a few more rays, their smooth skin ruffling underneath his palm. 

*

Asahi and Nishinoya spend the rest of the day at the aquarium looking at the tanks and talking about school for a bit, their families, what shows they’re watching right now. Asahi decidedly thinks many times throughout the course of the day about how nice it is not to think about the future for a little bit. Being with Nishinoya makes it easy to think about other things and good times in the past. Even as they make their exit, Nishinoya tells Asahi all about his new volleyball team, and how he isn’t sure what to think about his teammates yet. 

“They’re all super talented, I can tell,” Nishinoya says as they get on the escalator back up to the surface, “but I also feel like – I don’t know how to really explain but, our team in high school was so magical, ya know?” 

Asahi nods as they exit the glass dome and leave the underground park behind them. His third year at Karasuno was something he’d never forget. He remembers the rush of grasping for that last point in a set, the heart-pounding plays, the feel of slamming a leathery volleyball down over the net. Going to nationals with that team had been a long-time dream come true. 

“And even after high school, playing with the neighborhood team at home was fun,” Nishinoya continues, “but I didn’t feel the chemistry. Now, I’m just hoping I get a little spark of it back.” 

“I believe in you,” Asahi says with a chuckle. 

“Thanks. It does help to have you and Sugawara back in my life, for sure.” 

Asahi blushes for what feels like the millionth time today, and he coughs to cover it. “Glad to hear it. I feel the same, today was really nice.” 

“I’m glad! I know I kind of coerced you into being here, but –” 

“No, Nishinoya, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” 

“Stop apologizing. Well, wait a minute,” Nishinoya says as they stop at the platform on the train station. “This wasn’t supposed to be _fun,_ this was supposed to be _educational_.” 

Asahi stares before Nishinoya bursts into a bout of laughter, bent double over the yellow line of the platform. 

“But seriously,” he wheezes, standing up straight again and wiping the wet corner of his eye. “I really was hoping you’d want to become a dolphin trainer or something after seeing that show.” 

“You really are something,” Asahi says flatly. 

“I know.” 

“I guess this just means I get to look forward to doing more research with you.” Asahi bows his head, as if speaking with a colleague at work. 

Nishinoya smiles hesitantly at this, and there’s a moment where it looks like he wants to say something else, something important. Asahi tilts his head to the side, waiting for more words to spill from Nishinoya’s mouth, but a passing train interrupts the thought, taking it into the air as it whooshes past them and rattles onwards towards another destination. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the original artwork on [Noël's Twitter page](https://twitter.com/yoriiarts/status/1280210899610017794/photo/1) and give her a like and follow! She is the best <3


	3. Chapter 3

Though Asahi starts to get swamped with schoolwork over the next few weeks, he always has “research” with Nishinoya to look forward to at least once a week. Together, the two of them had already seen a lot of Tokyo, Nishinoya fascinated by its towering, neon-lit buildings and stooped shrines and storefronts at every corner. While Asahi had been in full-panic mode before Nishinoya came to Tokyo about his major and his career trajectory, he would now take any opportunity he could to forget the point of their outings. He wasn’t sure what it was about Nishinoya or about playing tourist in a city he’d lived in for the past few years, but the effect had been relaxing to say the least. 

That is, until Nishinoya starts making a habit of questioning him afterwards about what he thought of an activity and what they should do next, going so far as to make a list for Asahi of things they’ve done together and how it could translate into a potential job. Asahi, for his part, had been writing about the experiences in his journal for nonfiction, his entries adding up to a weird laundry list of strange details about places around the city and Nishinoya himself. 

_April 6 – stingrays swimming in an endless circle, a small hand on grazing their backs as they pass_

_April 8 – laugh like sunshine, steam rising over a coffee mug_

_April 12 – a dusting of powdery cake flour on a shirt sleeve_

Though Asahi had made some simple observations about everything they’d done so far, he’s found that he has no real opinions about working in a cafe or baking or architecture or whatever else they did. He hadn’t really said anything to Nishinoya in the negative or affirmative regarding the activities he’s planned, but Asahi is sure it’s getting frustrating to be around his indecisiveness. 

So as they make their way back to Nishinoya’s dorm room after yet another outing (this time from a soba noodle restaurant where you make your own noodles), Asahi finally decides he should weigh in. 

“So... I think I know I’m not going to be working with food,” Asahi says, face burning at the extremely recent memory of his disastrous attempt at slicing his homemade soba noodles.

“Yeah,” Nishinoya agrees with a smirk. “The noodles you made were somehow... crumbly? It’s actually really amazing how you pulled that off.” 

“Ha ha,” Asahi says emphatically. Something about Nishinoya’s smile made him want to pinch his cheek or ruffle his hair, just put his hands on him _somewhere_ , but Asahi quashes the feeling and puts his hands in his pockets instead. He coughs into his shoulder before adding, “I also don’t think I’m qualified to go into marine science. Or any science for that matter.” 

Nishinoya shrugs. “It’s not really about what you’d be qualified to do. You can always get qualified. It’s more like… what makes you excited?” 

Asahi thinks about everything they’ve done, and settles on one common factor. “Well, I’ve liked doing stuff with you,” he says honestly. 

Nishinoya’s neck flushes a brilliant red at this, and Asahi has to hold back a wide grin. It’s not often he gets to see that. 

“Not _that_ kind of excited, you dumb old man,” Nishnoya says loudly. “Focus! Is there an activity that you just can’t stop thinking about?” 

Asahi shrugs. To say that spending this much time with Nishinoya had been what he’s liked the most isn’t an understatement. In high school, it always felt like Nishinoya was pushing him towards something, however unwilling he might have been. The current situation they’ve found themselves in feels similar, but also different. Asahi realizes that they’re still working towards something with these activities, Nishinoya gently pushing him towards whatever bright thing is around the corner, but he also doesn’t feel as stuck as he did before. 

“Uh,” Asahi starts, unable to express this in a way that doesn’t sound weird. Instead, he pulls the next few thoughts out of his ass. “Maybe the whole idea of _finding a job_ is something. Like something to do with travelling? And writing about it?” 

Nishinoya tilts his head to the side. “Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m gonna write that down.” 

Asahi raises his eyebrows as Nishinoya slips his phone out of his pocket and opens up The List. Nishinoya hadn’t once let Asahi take a look at it fully, even though the thing seems to concern him, but at this point, Asahi has feeling there is something on there that Nishinoya doesn’t want him to see and he’s accepted it. 

“Oh, that kind of reminds me,” Nishinoya says, looking up from his phone and glancing at Asahi. “What are you gonna write about for that nonfiction class? Did you do any reading yet?” 

“I started reading _Into The Wild_ and I’ve been doing my journal entries, but I have no idea what I’ll write for the final thing. Probably something autobiographical, though.” 

“Damn, I gotta start my journal.” Nishinoya sighs, tucking a small fist under his chin as they stop at a crosswalk, a gesture that Asahi has seen a few times now that he and Nishinoya are hanging out again. “I wonder if maybe we can co-write something about your search for a career. Or at least, maybe we can tell the same story from our own perspectives.” 

“That’d be interesting. Or something, at least. Especially since we are pretty different. I wonder what the professor will say.” 

“I’ll send him an email tonight, then. He could at least be a bit impressed with our long standing relationship.” 

Asahi chuckles. “Relationship?” 

“You know.” Nishinoya coughs, looking back at his phone and tapping it with his thumb as he opens up another app. “Our friendship. We’ve known each other a long time now haven’t we?”

“Yeah, true,” Asahi says. Is it Asahi’s imagination, or does Nishinoya’s neck look slightly red again? Asahi really wants to tease him for it, but Nishinoya interrupts the thought with a click of his tongue.

“Shoooot,” Nishinoya groans. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it out next weekend. Volleyball season is coming up and we’ve got more practices scheduled.”

Oh. Asahi figured that this wouldn’t last forever, but he can’t help feeling a bit disappointed at the news. He watches as Nishinoya stuffs his phone back in his pocket with a frustrated grunt. The crosswalk lights up and he starts to stride across, almost leaving Asahi behind in his own frustration. 

“Nishinoya, it’s okay,” Asahi says, slightly breathless with matching Nishinoya’s pace. They’re on campus now, walking past some administrative buildings and towards Nishinoya’s dorm. “It’s not really pressing anyways. I do have a major right now that I’m okay with and it’s not a big deal if I don’t graduate with a degree that doesn’t have anything to do with my future job.” 

“But we were just starting to make progress!” 

“Were we?” 

At this, Nishinoya slows his pace and glances at Asahi. “I thought so. You just started to talk about what you really think.” 

“Oh.”

“Oh,” Nishinoya repeats with a smirk. “Yeah, duh, I see you there trying to avoid my questions all the time.” 

They stop in front of Nishinoya’s dorm building and Asahi rubs the back of his neck. “You noticed that, huh?” 

“Of course! I know you almost _too_ well. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. I’ve got volleyball and school and I’m still trying to get used to being away from home… it’s a lot to take in right now. It might be a good idea to give you a break from me anyways.” 

“A break?” 

“Yeah, it’s been – well, it’s been fun, but, well we’re no closer to figuring things out for you. And maybe I was a bit naive for thinking just going out will help you realize what you want –” 

“Nishinoya, I don’t –” 

“Wait, lemme finish.” 

Asahi goes silent at this, wanting to give Nishinoya some room to express himself, but also wanting desperately to tell him that it’s not his fault that nothing has been decided. But, standing there with the sun going down behind them, something about what Nishinoya is about to say feels monumental. 

“I want you to be happy,” Nishinoya says, “and I may have rushed things a bit because I was being selfish. I’m really sorry about that. I do want to help you figure things out, but I also wanted to hang out with you more.” 

Asahi watches Nishinoya clench and unclench his fists and breathes a sigh of relief at this. Is that all? 

“I wanted to hang out with you too,” he insists, stepping a bit closer to Nishinoya, who looks up at him with a small smile playing on his lips. 

“That’s good to hear. But I still think you need a bit of time to think about things.” 

“I guess I can agree to that.” 

“Good.” Nishinoya steps away from Asahi and unlocks the entrance to his dorm. “I’ll text you my schedule and we’ll set something up, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“See you around, Asahi-san.” 

Nishinoya flashes him a small smile, then he’s gone. 

*

Nishinoya doesn’t text Asahi for two weeks. Normally, this amount of time wouldn’t worry Asahi, but this is Nishinoya we’re talking about, one of the loudest people he had ever met. Even after getting glimpses of Nishinoya’s spiked hair or simply nodding at each other in class from their adjoining seats, Asahi feels very uneasy at the radio silence from his friend. He’d gotten used to being with Nishinoya frequently, had gotten used to his laughter, his blunt honesty, and, surprisingly, his unpredictability. It made life more fun, but without Nishinoya, Asahi felt like an indoor plant hidden in the darkest corner of a room – wilted and forgotten. Maybe he was being dramatic, but he really felt like doing nothing. 

This all comes to a head on a Friday evening, on which Asahi finds himself laying flat on his couch, fully clothed and grumbly and alone. Resisting the urge to parse through their last conversation for the millionth time and wonder if something he had said made Nishinoya not want to contact him again, Asahi steels himself and decides to send Nishinoya a text. 

Asahi: Hey, Noya-san just wanted to see how you’re doing. 

Asahi: I haven’t heard anything about your schedule so I wasn’t sure if we could still meet up this weekend or not. 

Right away, the writing bubbles appear on Nishinoya’s side, and Asahi watches them, waiting for Nishinoya’s response. 

Nishinoya: hey!

Nishinoya: sorry, things have been crazy

Nishinoya: i’m prolly gonna be free to do something in another week or so. 

Nishinoya: that work for u? 

Asahi: Yeah, no problem. 

Asahi: I know you’re busy. Just text me whenever you’re free. 

Asahi: Everything going okay? 

Nishinoya: yea! i’ve had a lot of extra practices for volleyball 

Nishionya: and school is starting to suck. but i’ve gotten a lot better at studying

Asahi: really? 

Nishinoya: don’t act so surprised you dumb old guy

Nishinoya: chikara pretty much whipped my butt into shape during third year 

Asahi: haha sorry i didn’t know. Still can’t pretend it’s not weird that you’re in college at all. 

Nishinoya: lolll harsh but true

Nishinoya: but yea, things are fine. 

Nishinoya: are u doin okay? Thought about your career path lately? 

Asahi: To be honest… not really. 

Asahi: its been a bit hard to concentrate on stuff. 

Nishinoya: o really? I’m sorry

Asahi: no it’s not your fault! I’m just

Asahi: idk… i guess maybe i need to be better about being decisive. Or just… letting things be? 

Nishinoya: hey you said it, not me 

Asahi: anyways, i’ll let you get back to studying

Nishinoya: ok! If you need me lmk, but i’ll see u in class! 

Nishinoya: oh and i did talk to the prof for nonfiction and he says we’re good to collaborate on something. or to write the same story. 

Nishinoya: just have to make it from our own perspectives or turn in our own papers or something. or both.

Nishinoya: i forgot rofl. i’ll forward the email when i get a chance 

Asahi: oh, thanks for checking that out. 

Asahi: okay! 

Asahi drops his phone on the floor and his face into the couch cushions. Nothing _seemed_ to be wrong, so why did he feel awful and sad? He doesn’t even want to move from his compromising position when he hears the door click open and voices in the hallway. Sugawara is loud at first, but then his voice comes to a halt, presumably when he sees Asahi facedown on the couch. 

Much to his amusement, he hears some harsh whispering between Sugawara and someone else, like they’re arguing about being loud. Asahi sits up and is surprised to see Daichi standing in the hallway locked in a heated (but silent) argument with Sugawara. He pokes Sugawara in the shoulder and nods towards Asahi. 

“Surprise?” Sugawara says, turning slowly in Asahi’s direction. 

“Indeed,” Asahi says, scrubbing his face with a palm and standing up. 

“Hello,” Daichi says, coming around the couch embracing Asahi tightly and clapping him on the back. “I don’t know why this is supposed to be a huge surprise, but I’m here to visit.” 

“Your boyfriend is a huge weirdo, that’s why it’s a surprise. When did you get in?” 

“A couple of hours ago. We went to the grocery and Suga is cooking.” 

Asahi whirls around to see Suga unpacking some plastic bags in the kitchen and setting some ingredients on the counter. He is clearly avoiding Asahi’s gaze, which makes him suspicious that something more is happening right now. But he chases the feeling away as Daichi steps back from their hug. 

“So,” Daichi says, walking towards the kitchen counter and taking a seat at one of their barstools. “How goes it?” 

“Fine, I guess.” Asahi goes to sit down next to him. “Oh, do you want a beer or something? You must be exhausted.” 

Daichi shakes his head. “Thanks, though. School is going well?” 

“Yeah. What about for you?”

“School is… school. I can’t really complain about it.” 

“That’s good.” 

An awkward pause falls between them. Asahi faintly understands that something weird is going on, with Suga mixing something rapidly in a bowl and not facing them or joining in the conversation at all, but he decides to wait for Daichi or Sugawara to say something. 

“Suga told me you’ve been spending a lot of time with Nishinoya,” Daichi says finally. 

“Yeah, sort of,” Asahi says. “Oh and thank you for telling me about that, by the way,” he adds with an incredulous laugh. 

Daichi grins. “Okay, I did want to mess with you a bit, but I had no idea that he’d be in one of your classes. That was completely unplanned.” 

“Hmm,” Asahi grumbles. 

“So…?” 

“So what?” 

“Anything you want to share with the class?” Daichi looks at him expectantly, as if waiting for some big news. 

“Nothing to share,” Asahi says, feeling a bit bewildered at Daichi’s many, vague questions. It is a little unusual for him to be asking him so much, so he elaborates just a tad. “He’s helping me figure out some personal stuff?” 

“Like?” 

“I’m sure you know, but I was really down about choosing history as a major so I kind of let that slip to Nishinoya and he’s been trying to help me.” 

“And… we were doing stuff for a while but I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks because of his volleyball schedule.” 

“AND?” 

“I’m not really sure what you’re looking for here,” Asahi says, now alarmed at Daichi’s wide eyes and the way that he’s leaned into his space. 

“Hmm,” Daichi says. He backs off and slumps into his chair. “Clueless as ever, I see,” he says to Sugawara, who nods emphatically. 

“What the heck are you talking about?” Asahi says. 

“Nothing,” Sugawara pipes in with a saccharine sweet smile. Asahi feels really confused now. He gets up to look in the fridge for a beer, while Daichi and Sugawara seem to have another silent argument behind his back. 

“Okay,” he says loudly into the fridge. He extricates a beer from the bottom shelf, closes his fridge, and rounds on his friends, who have arranged their faces into a seemingly neutral expression. “What is going on?” 

Daichi’s eyes flick to Sugawara for a second, before he clears his throat. “Suga says you’ve been depressed ever since Noya couldn’t spend any time with you.” 

Asahi’s mouth drops open and he stares at his roommate, who immediately turns away and busies himself with his cooking, the bastard. 

“And he called _you_?” Asahi says, rounding back to Daichi, who laughs loudly at this. 

“Well, I _am_ the captain.” 

“Oh. God.” 

“I’m good at diffusing situations like this.” Daichi is clearly enjoying this, a smug look on his face as he takes the beer from Asahi’s hands, twists the cap off, and takes a swig before handing it back to Asahi, who is still extremely confused. “So tell me about your depression.”

“I’m _not_ –” 

“You haven’t left the apartment for two weeks except to go to class, according to Suga. He says he can’t even get you to go to dinner with him.” 

This is true, but Asahi isn’t about to say so, choosing instead to glare at Suga’s back. 

“And he says this happened after Nishinoya got busy,” Daichi continues. 

Asahi wants to run away, but he finds himself pinned under Daichi’s steady gaze. Daichi had never been the hands-on type since he always seemed confident that things would work out the way they were supposed to. This is a very different approach for him, and Asahi suspects that Sugawara has had a huge influence on this newer side of Daichi. He slumps back in his barstool, placing the beer on the counter between him and Daichi. 

“It’s hard to say,” Asahi starts. He goes on to explain everything that had happened on the day he and Nishinoya saw each other in their non-fiction class, all the outings they went on, the weird feelings that Asahi had felt bubbling below the surface. Daichi is quiet, and so is Sugawara, save for the sounds of metal utensils clicking against another as he cooks. 

“And now, it seems like he thinks you need some time away from him?” Daichi says at the end of it.

“Maybe. I just feel like I’m not closer to an answer in terms of what we’re doing. And that Nishinoya will be disappointed if I can’t figure it out. I know I’m disappointed I can’t come up with anything.” 

“Hmm,” Daichi says, stroking his chin. “Well, I agree with you. I’d be pretty freaking disappointed if all my effort didn’t help you make a decision.” 

“Gee, thanks.” 

“But, this is Nishinoya we’re talking about,” he adds. “I don’t know if he really expects anything from you, even if he keeps asking you for a definitive answer.” 

Something in Asahi’s memory snaps. Again, the feeling of a broken broom underfoot, the feel of hands grappling with his collar, and the utter disappointment he feels from those hands, the face scrunched in fury. Nishinoya hadn’t ever wanted anything from Asahi except for him to try. 

“You know him. He just wants you to know he has your back.” 

“Okay,” Asahi says slowly. “Maybe you’re right. So where does that leave me?” 

“Your career is not the problem here then. There’s another question you haven’t answered.” 

“What could that be?”

“Why exactly do you miss spending time with Nishinoya?”

Unable to answer, Asahi turns into his room, still unsure of what he’s realized based on his talk with Daichi. Does he really just _miss_ Nishinoya? If that’s the case, then what does it mean? 

Asahi feels itchy, like he needs to do something. He doesn’t want to go back out into the living room where he is no doubt the topic of a one meddling couple’s conversation, so he takes out his school work and starts to go through his assignments. He steadily works through reading about the Meiji period, starts an essay about the American Revolution, and then turns to his nonfiction work, and, with a little shock, scrounges out his daily journal from the bottom of his book bag. 

Asahi hadn’t meant to forget the assignment about it at all, but he found himself without anything to notice or write about after his outings with Nishinoya stopped. Asahi flips through it again, noting his frequent mention of a Nishinoya-related detail: 

_April 15 – Skytree at night, a million lights shining over a city that doesn’t sleep, arms open wide over hundreds of skyscrapers_

_April 17 – hands kneading into the bruised meat of a palm, volleyball-related_

_April 19 – tak tak tak. a knife cutting dough into noodles, a snicker from behind me_

Asahi runs a finger over each letter he wrote over those first few weeks. Everything – the words they’d exchanged, the things they saw together, the things Asahi didn’t dare to say – all the little pieces are starting to come together in his mind. It’s like a crazy, mixed-up puzzle, and he’s not sure what the picture is supposed to be yet. 

Slow and deliberate, Asahi flips to a blank page in his notebook and opens up his mess of an email inbox on his phone. He finds the message that Nishinoya promised he’d forward from their professor, then looks at the clock. It’s late, later than he’d usually want to be awake on a weekday, the stars twinkling at him through his open window, but Asahi spares a passing thought for Nishinoya, wondering where he is now, and dates a new entry in his journal. He starts to write. 

*

The next morning on campus is crisp and cool and drenched in soft orange light. Asahi can’t find it in himself to enjoy it, however, as he sprints across campus to Nishinoya’s dorm. He’d passed out over his journal at around three in the morning, then woken up with a start just in time to pull on some sweatpants, grab his things, and rush out of his apartment, startling Sugawara, who had stepped out of his room to use the bathroom. Now, he’s chasing out startled pigeons because he wants to catch Nishinoya before he leaves for his early morning practice. 

Asahi spent a few solid hours writing about their outings. It hadn’t necessarily been for their assignment, though that was part of it. But there was something he’d hoped to figure out, and though the revelation he’d been so close to still managed to elude him, Asahi still felt it necessary to see Nishinoya. What he would say when they did finally see each other after a solid two weeks of no contact, he still wasn’t sure, however. 

Asahi slows his pace when the brick facade of Nishinoya’s dorm comes into view. He huffs out heavy breaths and contemplates what exactly to say 

_I was writing last night and thinking about us._

_I just kind of… missed you?_

_The last couple of weeks have been absolutely terrible without you._

Asahi shakes his head. He feels desperate and uneasy at the mere thought, let alone saying these thoughts out loud. To ground himself, he crouches low onto the ground (after checking for passerby) and takes a few steady breathes. Asahi also reaches into his book bag, hand brushing the faux leather of his non-fiction journal. It’s calming and he starts to feel his breath return to normal, heart starting to slow into a regular rhythm. 

“Asahi-san? What are you doing?” 

Asahi freezes, then turns his head up to see Nishinoya standing in front of him in the paved walkway. He looks like he’s just woken up, his hair slightly mussed, face a little dull, and his usually clever eyes slightly lidded. Nishinoya adjusts the sports bag hanging from his shoulder and tilts his head to the side in confusion. 

“Nishinoya,” Asahi starts, standing up and taking in lungfuls of air when he starts to feel a little dizzy. “I –” 

“Okay, wait. Catch your breath.” 

Asahi nods, grateful that Nishinoya noticed he probably stood up too fast, and looks down. _I’ll need all the air I can get, I guess_ , he thinks as he stares at the beat-up Converse high-tops on Nishinoya’s feet. When he feels a hand pressed onto his shoulder, Asahi looks into Nishinoya’s face. He’s gazing at Asahi carefully, as if searching for something in his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Nishinoya says slowly. “It kind of looks like you didn’t get a lot of sleep or something.” 

“Ah, yeah,” Asahi says, straightening up and wiping his brow. He didn’t like the fact that he had to _sweat_ to get here on time, but he finds that he is more glad to finally see Nishinoya. “I kind of didn’t.” 

“Oh.” 

“Because I was writing.” 

“Oh! Um, that’s good because we have a writing class and I would really like to talk about it more, but I gotta –” 

“I was writing about you.”

Nishinoya stops cold in his tracks. “Why?” 

“Well. Us, really.” 

“For our assignment?” 

“Yes. But also…” Asahi’s voice dies out as Nishinoya’s brow furrows in further confusion. He’s not sure what to say, but something snaps in him when he sees Nishinoya’s confusion. Everything starts to spill out. 

“I really… I honestly don’t know why I’m even here,” Asahi continues. “I just really missed you the past two weeks and I felt bad about making you go through all this trouble to help me figure things out for myself. I like visualizing what’s going to happen next, I always want to know what is coming in the future. But I was happy to forget about everything when we were hanging out. You were always pushing me to do more and I felt bad that I was hesitating. I want so badly to make sure you are proud of me.” 

Nishinoya doesn’t say anything, just stares, his eyes still a little sleepy but also gaining their usual sharpness as he processes what Asahi is saying to him. He lifts his chin to look at Asahi in the eyes. 

“Why me?” Nishinoya says. 

Asahi takes a deep breath and shakes his head madly, unable to get the words out. “I… I don’t know,” he whispers, shutting his eyes tightly. This is a mistake, why does Nishinoya ever want to deal with him? Asahi is standing there, a full-grown man, unwilling and incapable of saying the words that seem to be on the tip of his tongue. 

“Asahi-san.” Nishinoya’s voice cuts through Asahi’s thoughts, and he snaps his eyes open, expecting to see Nishinoya looking frustrated or exasperated. But. He’s not. 

He’s smiling. It’s not his usual big or crazy smile. It’s soft, like Asahi is this little baby rabbit and his golden eyes sparkle with _something_ , Asahi isn’t sure what, but it makes him want to grab Nishinoya tightly and not let go. 

“I don’t think you’re a failure or whatever you are thinking,” Nishinoya starts. “I like you. A lot. I don’t care if you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I pushed you because it seems like you needed it. But maybe it’s what’s making you panic. And… well, I don’t mind just spending time with you either,” he adds, looking down at his shoes. 

Asahi can only give a shaky laugh at this, his brain a little fried from lack of sleep and the idea of what Nishinoya is actually saying to his face. He doesn’t get a chance to respond as Nishinoya looks back up to him and nods his head past where Asahi is standing. 

“Well,” Nishinoya says, “I kind of have practice right now. Do you mind if we talk more about this later? I promise to text you.”

Asahi nods, tongue still heavy in his mouth and unable to move. He feels a little disappointed, and it must show, because Nishinoya gives him a disbelieving shake of the head before a sly, playful smile crosses his face. Asahi vaguely thinks that the smile spells trouble, but he can’t find himself to care when Nishinoya sticks his small hand out to Asahi. 

“Wanna walk me to the gym first?” Nishinoya says in a would-be casual voice. 

Asahi is fine with this. He watches as Nishinoya hikes up the gym bag on his shoulder, notices the way his bangs brush over his forehead, the peach fuzz on his chin. It hadn’t been so long ago that they were just teenagers, Nishinoya pushing Asahi through hallways, up a hill, on a volleyball court. 

Pressing his hand into Nishinoya’s now, Asahi feels a small token of something new between them, something bright that he hadn’t really expected to form when this semester started. Asahi knows that he can’t predict the future, knows there are things in life that you just can’t control, but he is content with what he knows will happen now. He takes the hand that’s offered to him, and walks across a golden college campus with Nishinoya at his side. 

The contented silence between them does not worry Asahi one bit. They will talk more later. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please let me know by leaving a comment or saying hi on Twitter: [@froochies](https://twitter.com/froochies). 
> 
> Want to read more? Head on over to my [works page](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darling_dontworry/works) :)


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